adventures in inauthenticity,
an unfinished essay on outing the ego
I’m fascinated by the following maxim from Landmark Education: the most authentic thing I can say is how I’m being inauthentic.
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This is a wicked cool piece of magic.
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So I invented a game/form/prompt inspired by this that I call, I’m so full of shit because…
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When I play this game with myself or others, I discover it just leads us deeper and deeper into our truth.
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The more I expose the inauthentic agenda inside myself, the closer I come to my truth.
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Another term I have for this is: outing the ego.
So, as I’m building this website, I’m discovering how many of my creations are really unfinished and not thought through all the way and, honestly, really rough and not ready to be shared.
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As I discover this, as I take ownership of how lax I have been in my life with my creativity, I suddenly discover that there is a hidden integrity there in my work. There is something here wanting to be shared. But it’s really still not fully formed. And it’s never going to be ready if I don’t to start to share it. It’s the exposure that starts to make it ready.
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So part of the work of this website project is to dare to expose some examples of creative work, so I can see how unfinished and how uncared for they truly are. And out of that painful realization, I discover something even more real inside of me that actually feels worth sharing.
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So it is my process to start to share these creative works that really aren’t worth sharing. They really aren’t good enough to share. I totally want to own that and confess that.
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This tends to trigger a shame/despair cycle inside of me. Then this sometimes exposes something that is worth sharing. It’s almost like what I thought I wanted to share is a front for the actual creative work hiding behind it.